-Dools

Here are the winners of "The Best Rapper On Newgrounds" competition.

1st Place is... JimmySaint
2nd Place is... Blade-X9
3rd Place is... Wuggawoot

I strongly urge everyone to visit these guys pages and post a comment or two!

Congratulations to all three of you, and many thanks to the other people who participated.

Now here are the winning raps:

JimmySaint's:

You told me to write a poem, so hey, what the fuck
Down with this shit I'm gonna shuck
My name is Jimmy
I play guitar
I don't like to shimmy
Mess with me, I'll give you a scar
I'm in a band
We play very good
We'll open whoop-ass that has been canned
And you know we would
Playing those tastey licks onstage
Making everyone go crazy
We play for people of a newer age
And things start to get hazy
Up here bustin rhymes fast as Sonic
Other singers stutterin like they need Hooked on Phonics
We some girls after the show
Nice ones, with good looks
They offered to sell us some blow
And as it turned out they were crooks
My crush walks by and I start to twitch
The urge to ask her out is nagging like an itch
Brown hair, dark eyes, she's beautiful as anyone can see
I just want her to be happy (while dating me)
My idols are RBF, Hendrix and Led Zep
I'm a ska-rock-metal-punk so don't call me a prep
I'm here on Newgrounds, as you see
There are plenty of people who like me
Mess with any of them and you better run fast
Because I'll shove my foot so far up you're ass
The water on my knee will quench your thirst
Got a group of people around me "Who's first?"
My foot up your ass or a bullet in the brain
Tell me which is worse
First choice will cause much more pain
Either way, you're leaving in a hearse
I study all day and play all night
But don't think that'll keep me from beating you in a fight
But don't get me wrong, I'm a really nice guy
In fact you'll find that I'm pretty shy
If you're my friend, then good for you
You won't be the one to taste the sole of my shoe
I'll roundhouse kick your face like Chuck Norris
But I wear cleats so your face will be porous
I kick it on Nintendo
Way old school
But I'm also modern
So don't think I'm a fool
I like ska
Just ask my pa
He'll tell you my flaw
Diss me about it and I'll say "Psshaw"
I'm friends with the emo kids
They cut their wrists and bled it
I'm a funky, not a junkie,
But I know where to get it
I hate spammers
Betty, Clock Crew and those Kitty Kats
I can't think of anything else
So that's the end of that

Blade-X9's:

Blade-X9
Gives you the sign
Do not whine,
Don't drink much wine
'Cause we'll be fine
From noon to 9

Whatever is going to happen,
Make sure not to threaten

People who're jacked
And seems fully whacked
Or they'll get twacked,
Smacked and cracked

So I did my best
To test the rest

Not under quarantine
And read a magazine

But see them all
And be one to fall
Beneath the call

Of dark sides
And death slides

So, yeah this X9
Hope to see you all fine

In your home
Or when you roam
In Rome

Wuggawoot's:

I'm James, not lame, ready to be ridin' the cocaine
Flowin and showin, my rap'll put you to shame
Be poppin and lockin, tossin down on the floor
Yeah and Jimmy, your mothers a whore
Shes a deep throater, a stunner, a mover, be suckin my dick like dirt to a hoover
And you lyin' bout those cleats
I know you couldn't afford them
Cause you be ridin 14's, tryin tricks in your junker
While Im on 26es, poppin stunts in my whip
Ghost ridin, wheelies, all that shit
How can you expect to get your front end up
When I know from your girl that you can't get it up

Towards the bottom of my post there are three hilarious advertisements and in relation to them, it spurs the opportunity to create, yet another competition. If any of you can find the funniest advertisment, I'll check 'em out and decide which ones to put on my page, there will be a first, second and third funniest advertisement. And here's a hint, some of the funniest are usually banned ads!

Ah, my beloved NG buddies... (in no particular order)

Nikenick
Recolo
ngfan14
Ghyfty
fucking666killelmo
HAVT
JimmySaint
anthobull
TyPah
Zanarchy
ecwrulesbad
jtm17
Nacale
sonic7845
stinkychops
super-pineapple
Azutom
InsertFunnyUserName
Bilna
MeLucky

Check out these awesome videos, they're Pepsi Max advertisements and they're awesome. The other one is a Bud Light advertisement that played during the 2008 Superbowl! Anyway just check 'em!

P.S. My internet is running really slow here because we exceeded the download limit or something, I don't really know. But getting onto a site like Newgrounds is a struggle, so I probably won't go on until we get the internet running smoothly again, which is in two weeks... oh and make sure you find a funny ad for my comp!

-Dools

I changed the name of the competition to Best Rapper On Newgrounds because everyone's poem was so good and they all sounded like raps, anyway I'm still judging and I'm going to announce the winner on the 20th. Good luck to everyone.

This is mah rap.

MY NAME IS DOOLS
ALL THE PEOPLE AROUND ME ARE FOOLS
I GOTTA KNACK FOR GETTING KICKED OUTTA SCHOOLS
WHEN I SPOT A HOT CHICK I START TO DROOLS
START OF '08 ALONG I CAME
SPENDING ALL DAY ON NEWGROUNDS BUT FEELING NO SHAME
BLAMMING AND SAVING, WHO CARES IT ALL DAH SAME
LONG AND POINTLESS REVIEWS ARE MY GAME

That took me about 30 seconds to think up.

Ah, my beloved NG buddies...

Nikenick
Recolo
ngfan14
Ghyfty
fucking666killelmo
HAVT
JimmySaint
anthobull
TyPah
Zanarchy
ecwrulesbad
jtm17
Nacale
sonic7845
stinkychops
super-pineapple
Azutom
InsertFunnyUserName
Bilna
MeLucky

Now keep in mind that the people on this list are in no particular order, so don't be that faggot who begs to be on the top... ahem... fucking666killelmo...

By the way, occasionally I will go on MSN, so if you have it as well then feel free to add me, its ejdooleyrules648@hotmail.com

-Dools

I'M BACK! GUESS WHAT'S HAPPENED SINCE I'VE BEEN GONE!

I broke my arm over 2 weeks ago, well wrist but anyway it was an epic break. I was playing soccer and I was tripped (I am currently planning my devious scheme of vengeance as I type this) and I fell back with my wrist bending backwards as it collided with the ground, it then snapped back, and the bone snapped right in half!

Apparently everyone heard this massive crack and saw the bone out of place and was looking at my wrist which looked totally deformed and everyone was like "ewww." As the coaches rushed over, they brought the medical kit and made me a temporary sling for my arm. And as I tried to bring my arm off the ground slowly and move it into the sling, my wring flipped forward like... like... something that flops forward easily... it was so funny, but I was in shock so when you break an arm you're in shock and don't really cry just like go, "owww... what happened...?"

Anyway they called the ambulance and they gave me stuff to relieve the pain, it was a green whistle kind of thing that you inhale, they warned me not too get too high off of it otheriwse I get really dizzy, which I did... I WAS TOTALLY TRIPPIN' BALLS. Anyway they rushed me to this hospital called "Royal North Shore" and I went to Radiology and got an x-ray then the doctors saw it and are like "Jesus, how the hell did this happen?!" Anyway then they said that I will need surgery in order to put the bone back into place which they did.

It was a closed surgery thing which I'm not entirely sure how they do that but nether the less they gave me an anaesthetic which didn't work so they knocked me out with a hammer. I then woke up and I looked at my arm which had some massive chunky cast on it which I now have on for six weeks!! OMFG!! 4 weeks from today but still OMFG!!! And yeah, quite a story but all of it I felt was necessary.

Oh and my dear friends how are ya?

Nikenick
Recolo
ngfan14
Ghyfty
fucking666killelmo
JimmySaint
FamilyGuy05
TyPah
Zanarchy
ecwrulesbad
jtm17
HAVT
sonic7845
Luis
stinkychops
super-pineapple
Azutom
InsertFunnyUserName
Bilna
MeLucky

You will always be in my imaginary heart :)

And yes this post does kinda mean I'm back on Newgrounds more.

-Dools

Hey again.

Not be on Newgrounds as much.

I'm sorry to all the people that want me to spend more time on... but I haven't been on much lately anyways.

But if you're desperate to chat which is most likely then you can contact me through PM and MSN.

E-mail: ejdooleyrules648@hotmail.com.

I will still talk to good NG friends on msn such as fucking666killelmo, Ghyfty, Nikenick, HAVT, and Bilna.

Anyways... I'll try and go on as much as possible... you probably won't notice :P

And here are my TRUE NG friends.

Ghyfty
Barabas
Nikenick
Recolo
ngfan14
jtm17
HAVT
Bilna
fucking666killelmo
anthobull

So yeah... now hopefully you haven't taken this post the wrong way, cheer yourself up, go have a cookie - yes, chocolate chip.

-Dools

P.S. Check out this picture, it's fucking awesome.

I think it was HAVT who told me about it anyway credit goes to him for telling me about it.

SPIDERZ PWN

SOZMALOZ FORGOT TO POST THAT IT'S MY BIRTHDAY ON THE 19TH!! SO WHOEVER GOT IT RIGHT CONGRATZ? WELL I WAS AS BUSAY AS A BEE (ROFLMAO SIMILE) DOING SOME B'DAY SHIZ.

It's just a post, k? So don't get psyched.

Hmm... topics... topics...

Ah! Here is a trailer for a movie I really want to see. It comes out September 18 (in Australia, probably earlier in America) and one of my favourite actors starrs in it!! Can you guess who it is...? Just watch the freakin' video!! Yayz!!

Yes, one of my favourite actors is Will Ferrell not that John C. Reilly dude... pffft...

And here are my best NG friends, I love you guys!

Barabas
Nikenick
Recolo
ngfan14
ghyfty
furbiesmustdie
Zanarchy
ecwrulesbad
jtm17
HAVT
sonic7845
Kagoe
stinkychops
Azutom
Bilna
MeLucky
fucking666killelmo
anthobull

Also if you have msn add me: ejdooleyrules648@hotmail.com.

-Dools

Ninjas pwn...

Lots of important events for me are going to occur over the next few weeks. They Are Coming...

- My Birthday is coming soon... sometime later in September... I'm not gonna say when...
- The Mummy 3: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor is coming out in cinemas September 11.
- WALL-E comes out on September 18 in Australia, I think it's earlier for America...
- We all know Halloween is around the corner... 31st October oh yayz!
- Starting in November we have our yearly exams *gulp.*
- Australia gets a 3 week school holiday break before the exams in 3 weeks.
- And before we know it another year will have gone by already... man...

And here are my best NG friends, I love you guys!

Barabas
Nikenick
Recolo
ngfan14
ghyfty
furbiesmustdie
Zanarchy
ecwrulesbad
jtm17
HAVT
sonic7845
Kagoe
stinkychops
Azutom
Bilna
MeLucky
fucking666killelmo
anthobull

Also if you have msn add me: ejdooleyrules648@hotmail.com.

P.S. We recently finished a Multimedia work unit in Design & Technology at school. And what we had to do for this unit was make a little film that is kinda like an advertisement promoting a sports club and it's specific sport. We decided to do AFL (Australian Football League) it was an ideal choice because we are Australian and AFL is a great sport. The video is just simply called "Funny Knox AFL Video." It should be called "Humphrey's AFL" but yeah my friend uploaded it onto YouTube and titled it differently... anyway, here it is! (I play Humphrey in the video).

I hope you liked it. Please comment give me your opinion on it. Don't be too harsh we're only human!

-Dools

BTW CASTLE CRASHERS PWN JOO

I was talking with Nikenick on MSN right and he has this patch where he can make it seem that the person he is talking with say something like "I suck cocks for crack." It's so lame.

Oh and apparently he is bisexual!

Nikenick says:
Guys, I have to admit something. I'm bisexual.
Ed Dooley (Dools) says:
...
Ed Dooley (Dools) says:
Serious?
Zanarchy says:
lol, so
HAVT says:
omg x 2!
Ed Dooley (Dools) says:
If that's true then you're half gay omg!
Ed Dooley (Dools) says:
haha!
Zanarchy says:
i'm bi too, who gives two squirts of piss
Nikenick says:
lol
Ed Dooley (Dools) says:
gaywad!

Ahhhh... Nikenick you never cease to amuse and shock me!

OH AND DON'T THINK I HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE COMPETITION!

AND THE WINNER OF THE WORST ADDICTION/HABIT IS... *DRUMROLL*

John-The-Biter You really should check out his page, he has some interesting posts. He will always respond to comments, so whatcha waiting for? Go comment, be social! Umm... cyber-social that is... =)

Oh and here is his crazy addiction, it's not entirely true but it's funny.

I'm addicted to stalking little kids. Then one day I grab them on their way to school and bring them back to my van. I drive back to my friends house where he dug up 2 corpes of 90 year old women. I force the kids to have sex with the corpses. Then I shit on the kid and tell him to do it better. I wank on his face untill its like a glazed doughnut. Then I rape the kid.kill him with a spiked didlo, wait 6 hours, then tear of bits of flesh and shove them up my rectum for pleasure.

Uh...I mean...PUSSY LULUOLUOULOULUOULUOUL

And here are my best NG friends, I love you guys!

Barabas
Nikenick
Recolo
ngfan14
ghyfty
furbiesmustdie
Zanarchy
ecwrulesbad
jtm17
HAVT
sonic7845
Kagoe
stinkychops
Azutom
Bilna
MeLucky
fucking666killelmo
anthobull

Also if you have msn add me: ejdooleyrules648@hotmail.com.

ALSO CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO GUYS!

THAT SHIT IS FUCKIN' BADASS!

-Dools

False alarm.

Ah... ok, let's make a proper post now, ok?

Well, as it's pretty obvious to some people, I have been away for a while, brawling =)

And some were just commenting constantly on my page asking the same thing over and over again, I won't mention any names... cough *ghyfty* cough... ugh, I've also been under the weather a bit lately...

Anyway, so the main thing is, how the hell are you guys going eh?

And here are my good NG friends, I love you guys!

Barabas
Nikenick
Recolo
ngfan14
ghyfty
furbiesmustdie
FamilyGuy05
TyPah
Zanarchy
ecwrulesbad
jtm17
HAVT
sonic7845
Kagoe
stinkychops
super-pineapple
Azutom
InsertFunnyUserName
Bilna
MeLucky
The-Bobanater
stickmanslicerguy
WolfBlitz2
Andrea364
LegendaryAwesome
JimmySaint
fucking666killelmo
kuttie

Also if you have msn add me: ejdooleyrules648@hotmail.com.

P.S. I am holding a competition, I want you guys to comment on my page and tell me either: 'Something you are addicted to and can't stop' or 'a bad habit.' Whoever has the worst addiction/habit will get their page advertised on mine... (hope that's a good enough prize... meh).

HAPPY CLOCKDAY? MEH... I DON'T REALLY CARE... I RECKON PICO DAY AND MADNESS DAY ARE WAY BETTER...

Oh and I really want people to check out HAVT'S page, there are some freakin' hilarious videos on his page, trust me. Oh and you should check out his animations, he has some amazing talent. He'll appreaciate comments about his animations and give your opinion on his videos!

-Dools